The trouble with them is that they are sometimes messy relationships, that no amount of windex and comet can clean properly. And when I say messy, I don't mean that I'm being stalked or that anyone has threatened to bust the windows out my car. No I think I mean that they kinda just show up and when you're least expecting it, they pull on the old heart strings. I mean, it's not like i stopped loving any of them really..All I have is various degrees of love for each of them..but it's love non the less.
I have noticed that hearing their voices or smelling a scent that I associate with them can be near kryptonite sometimes. One I miss holding hands with, one could just look at me and I'd get lost in the pools of her eyes and yet another is the only other woman (besides my wife) I seriously thought could be the mother of my children… How do I reconcile myself with the lost hopes and dreams of all those relationships? How do I hold the reins of my own love for them as I interface with each and everyone one of them?
I'm aware I have quite a wonderful problem. Most people are not friends with their exes and don't give a damn what's up with them. Clearly that is not my reality. I worry about them and pray for them to be safe always. I would do anything in my power to help anyone of them if they called me in need…
I think what I understand about exes is that they represent me..different phases of my development maybe. They all carry a piece of my heart and it's precious and I can't lose it. In them I see the love that I'm capable of giving to others. I recognize it's power and I'm amazed.
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