Questions--in progress

I am bound to this world by my love and my duty.
Bound in this black body
Bound is this female body
Bound in this gay body

When will I be released?
Cut lose from this body and the identity that comes with it.
When will I cease to be
A daughter
A sister
An auntie
A lover
A friend
When will it be my turn
Like the whirling dervishes
To spin and dance in joy as all the cares and worries slip away

How will I end?
As I look back on my life
Will my parents know how hard I tried to make them proud?
Will my sister realize that it was her companionship that got me through?
Will my niece understand that I see the future of our family in her?
Will my women know that I loved them above all else and that their brown skin delighted me because loving them was like loving myself?
Will my friends know how much I enjoyed and cherished their friendship?

In the end
Will the Baptist God of my father and mother witness my passing
Or will the spirits of my ancestors gather me up and welcome me home?
Will they approve of my works and see that my heart was always in the right place?
Will Jesus and Osiris weigh my heart and find it lighter than a feather?