Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Butch Like Me

Growing up into my butch ness, I have always felt that being butch was one of the most subversive things one could be. Think about, a masculine looking woman-that is a woman loving other women. The world flips out when faced with that quiet statement. Here is a woman that will not transition, will not be male, and will not be misread, so you (world) can soothe yourself. Deal with it.


This is my testimony and I need someone to hear it. I am not trying to slam anyone else. I am merely a lost soul looking for my tribe, my people, my clan. I don’t know where to find them because the butch seems to be in decline.

I am not genderqueer, trans, or ftm, but I have friends that identify in all those ways and I love them but my pool of people that experience the world as I do is growing small.

I am often alone and confused. This is a brave new world. It’s very brave and very new. The simple description of Butch is now a large umbrella that may not actually include me…I feel adrift, lost because it seems I am merely a throwback in comparison to all there is out there today, for I am just a woman identified butch, and there may not be as many of me as there once was.

From the moment I wake up in the morning to the second I fall asleep and all the minutes in between, I walk on this planet, in this world, and in every space as a woman that is masculine in appearance. Every day finds me having to fight for the right to be a woman in this masculine looking body. My womanhood is disrespected and slowly encroached upon in small ways like being called sir or addressed with male pronouns, being challenged in the women’s bathrooms, and being asked if I’m going to take “T”, and the list goes on. How can I survive these changes and this new environment? Are there others of you out there like me? Am I the last feminist butch woman standing? If so, I’ll turn the lights out when I leave.